Middle School Muddle: The Kids, They- Are- A'Changin

Posted by inthemiddle at 11:23 AM

For me, the clearest indication that my son's childhood as he knew it was a thing of the past started with the cupcakes.

At a middle school orientation two years ago, I was the ridiculously out-of-touch mother who raised my hand in a crowded gym and innocently asked if it was still okay to bring cupcakes to celebrate a birthday in sixth-grade.

The crowd laughed. The principal rolled his eyes. I blushed and learned an important lesson about this next stage of life, which I've dubbed The Age of Embarrassment. It's time for parents to back off.

Parents are all over the best elementary schools, organizing fund-drives and bake sales and penny drives, going on field trips, and yes -- carrying in those giant tupperware boxes filled with cupcakes.

Not so in middle school. Two years ago, I took my sixth grader on the first day. On the second day, I walked a few blocks behind. (Could anything be worse than being seen with an actual parent?) and after that, he traveled mostly with his friends or alone. Now, if I want to stop by the school, I can't take the same entrance.

Birthdays? Forget it. He doesn't want anyone to know.

Not all middle schoolers become this self-conscious, of course, and none of this means middle schools don't need support from parents -- they do, more than ever! My best advice to soon-to-be middle school parents is to ask other parents how they handled the transition -- and find out from the principal, parent coordinator and the PTA what's most needed. Trust me, there is plenty to do.

Today, we said goodbye to my younger son's elementary school, to teachers, parents and staff we knew for so many years they felt like family. There were hugs, tears and presents and then it was over.

It's almost time to pack up all the stuffed animals and Dr. Seuss books too, reminders of the elusive and transitory nature of childhood. But first, though, I'm going to bake a batch of cupcakes. They may not be for a class party, but they'll still fill the kitchen with the smell of childhood.

Middle School Muddle: Tips I wish I could give

Posted by helen at 12:59 PM

by Liz Willen

After two middle school searches in three years, I wish I could pretend to be the seasoned pro, generous with wisdom, advice and pitfalls to avoid. But even though we did our homework carefully, visited lots of schools in District 2, and listened to the words of teachers, guidance counselors and district officials, we discovered that the middle school admissions process did not work well this year. Confusion and misinformation triumphed.

Part of it is a supply and demand problem, of course. There simply aren't enough good public middle schools in New York City, and as more parents choose to raise their children here and want to support public education, something has to change -- quickly. Demand for the best public elementary schools is on the rise, leading inevitably to crowding and more competition. So clearly, there is a need to improve the city's middle schools.

For the record, my complaints are not directed at the personal situation my family finds ourselves in. My now seventh-grader two years ago chose the Clinton School for Artists and Writers, where the language arts program has been absolutely outstanding. The teachers, principal and parent coordinators are warm, welcoming and approachable. Truth is, there should be more schools like Clinton everywhere. And more like Lab, Salk, MAT and East Side Middle School, to name a few of the terrific schools we've toured, some of them twice.

Two years ago, our middle-school search went well. We gave lots of schools careful consideration before ranking Clinton first of five choices. By April, it was over.

My current fifth-grader's class didn't fare as well. Graduation is Friday and several of his classmates are shut out of all of their choices, as are children all over the city.

The appeals process is underway. No one knows how it will go. This year decisions did not come in until mid-June. Many kids got the wrong letters. Some didn't get letters at all, leaving it to the patient elementary school guidance counselors, parent coordinators and principals to help sort things out.

How were decisions made? No one can say for sure, but we do know that the Department of Education decided to centralize the process -- meaning, take it out of the hands of the schools and districts, even though it was working well.

Did principals even look at applications this year? Was it just a numbers game, test scores and the like? I'm thinking about the carefully crafted hand-written notes my son and some of his friends wrote to their first-choice schools, describing why they wanted to be there. And those art and writing projects they attached?

Julie Shapiro wrote a good piece in the Downtown Express, describing the frustration and shock many families whose children are shut out of schools now feel. If I had a child entering fifth-grade next year, I'd be very concerned. Will the process be changed? If so, how? What should parents know? Whatever is decided, it's critical that schools, district officials, principals, parent coordinators and guidance counselors give out THE SAME INFORMATION, which was not at all the case this year.

My younger son, as it turns out, is also going to Clinton and I feel lucky. But I'm sick about all the great kids left hanging, and the unfortunate impression of contempt the Department of Education is showing to children and families who truly want to be here and support city schools.

Middle School Mess: DOE, Fix This Process Now!

Posted by inthemiddle at 8:40 AM

Delays, confusion and misinformation have marked the middle school choice process this year, and it is simply unacceptable. This is a perfect example of the Department of Education putting children last. Principals and guidance counselors in the elementary and middle schools have tried to be patient and reassuring and worked hard to get answers that either keep changing -- or apparently do not exist.

This year was confusing from start to finish. We couldn't schedule tours in the fall, then -- suddenly -- we could! Parents who got the information somehow signed up, others found themselves shut out, only to have tours open again in December in January.

The deadlines for notification kept changing as well, leaving kids and parents on edge for way too long. Last week, in one Brooklyn school where the kids were becoming unbearably antsy, the school just typed up their own letter from the list they got from the DOE and handed them out in class -- not the best strategy for kids who got disappointing news.

Imagine telling your 10 or 11-year-old child, who for months has been waiting to hear from one of the five carefully chosen middle schools they selected after endless touring, that they did not get into ANY of them.

That has happened to several families I know in Manhattan, and it's an issue in Brooklyn as well, with children being assigned to middle schools that they did not apply to -- or left without a middle school altogether, and directed to a second admissions round.

Are these kids with troubled records or academic difficulties? ABSOLUTELY NOT. In the cases I'm aware of, these are great kids, with solid test scores and the kinds of families who organize special events and field trips, volunteer endlessly and make it clear in everything they say and do that they support public education in New York City.

There are no pat answers or explanations either, because no one knows with much certainty how decisions were made, especially for the highly valued ones that are overwhelmed with applications.

It is not okay to simply accept that in any choice-based process, some children will get left out. That is not an outcome that we must simply live with. It's too early to say how the appeals process will work in these cases, but in the meantime kids and families are suffering unecessary anxiety and pain.

It is not okay to promise answers by early May, and deliver them six weeks later with no explanation at all. If Schools Chancellor Joel Klein's idea was to equalize the process, where is he now with the explanation, the apology and a plan to fix the problems?

The fault lies in the idea that the DOE decided at some point to "centralize,'' both pre-k and middle school choice this year, perhaps to make life easier for administrators. That's the only explanation I've seen in the New York Times last week.

The New York Daily News has also tried to get answers: The explanation? First time the DOE had coordinated the processes in different districts.

That's not good enough. And it simply doesn't resonate with kids and families who are spending this month trying to get answers -- and trying to reassure their children that indeed, everything will work out, when they really can't say those words with much confidence.

Two years ago when my older son went through middle school choice and the district was in charge, the tours ran on time, notification came by April and questions asked were answered.

Let's get some answers now.

Middle School Muddle:Why Movement Matters

Posted by inthemiddle at 11:31 AM

During the long wait to hear about middle school acceptance, I've had the chance to think about about what really matters during the often awkward and uncomfortable years.

By now, many parents have already analyzed academic programs, test scores, class size, location and any specialties they feel will be the right fit. That makes the wait a bit harder, because all those questions may have been discussed and circulated in your household or with your child's classroom teacher for more than year. Tell us already, please!

In the meantime, I'm equally concerned with keeping my middle school kids participating in as many sports and activities as possible, some of which may be in jeopardy next year due to budget cuts.

City dwellers who've opted to raise kids in apartment buildings have learned early on the need for finding playgrounds, sports and outside activities. Unless you are comfortable putting your child in front of a television sets and video games for entertainment, your children may have already alienated your neighbors, with say, too many games of indoor soccer or football or furniture doubling as trampolines.

Once kids get to middle school, where everything said, done and worn is potentially embarrassing, their need to keep moving is even more essential. But few middle schools have full sports programs, a big topic of conversation this week at tryouts for the travel teams at Downtown United Soccer League, where my two boys have played on travel teams on and off for the last three years.

Many of the parents there wished their children's middle schools had the capacity to train and sponsor competitive sports teams after school.

We know that middle school educators absolutely understand the need to keep kids moving. This spring, their efforts let to something extraordinary: A series of track and field events that allowed kids to compete in events like the long jump, shot put, and 75-yard-dash. Over 120 city schools and 30,000 children will now have a chance to compete at Icahn Stadium on June 21st.

The series started five years ago when three District Two teachers decided to hold a small meet in Chinatown. The movement has grown, fueled by coaches and teachers who are not getting paid for the extra time and effort it takes to train and build teams, not to mention the time it takes to transport them to meets and events. Many coaches are working without gyms, fields or equipment.

Manhattan Academy of Technology in Chinatown has had tremendous success in creating and sustaining a sports program, and is now pushing hard to get programs off the ground for other schools as well. This week, they are holding a meeting to discuss creation of a soccer league.

All these efforts must be applauded and supported, and parents should fight hard for sports and extra programs that may be threatened. Keeping our children in top shape and engaged in fun and healthy after school activities gives them confidence and a sense of well-being -- and it saves a lot of furniture, too.

Middle School Muddle: When parents are political pawns

Posted by inthemiddle at 1:07 PM

This has been a tough month for public school parents and activists in New York City, the kind who fight for better schools, support the ones their children attend and try to convince friends, neighbors and other parents to do the same.

These activists know that simply registering your child and walking away is not an option if you want enhanced art, music and science programs, to name just a few. They volunteer at lunch and at recess and run auctions, bake sales and endless fundraisers to create better programs for all children. And they are pretty sick of all the finger-pointing about whose fault it is when school budgets are cut.

Many of the most ardent public education supporters began battling for better schools in pre-kindergarten, but now they've discovered there are no certain spots in such programs -- and that even kindergarten in their zoned neighborhood schools cannot be taken for granted due to overcrowding.

They can't necessarily count on a spot a high-performing middle school either, because of a supply and demand discrepancy that exists when it comes to the best schools -- and because some districts and neighborhoods don't have a lot of appealing choices.

One of the most painful moments came last week, when Chancellor Joel Klein announced he'd have to make cuts as high as 6 percent at some of the most attractive and sought-after places like the Salk School of Science, where some 45 percent of 8th graders receive offers to attend the specialized high schools. Salk faces a cut of $133,762, or 5.25 percent. Klein told reporters that 74 schools would face cuts of more than 5 percent.

Klein is putting all the blame on state government in Albany, maintaining that state rules have restricted the way the city can spend education money, despite the historic lawsuit that was supposed to bring billions of dollars into underfunded schools. He says state officials are not allowing him to use $63 million in state aid to close a $99 million city budget deficit before that budget is due June 30.

Parents aren't buying it, as the New York Times pointed out last week, nor should they. (The City Council, which must approve the mayor's budget, isn't buying it either.) The average New York City public parent activist is too busy looking for decent public schools, fighting to maintain the ones their kids already attend and raising ever more money (like I said, it's a lot of cupcakes and rummage sales) to get caught in the middle of despicable politics as usual.

Does Klein think he's going to be a hero if he announces he suddenly won't have to make such deep cuts after all? Unlikely. Regent Merryl Tisch recently told NY1 News that the "ugly political battle'' was creating enormous uncertainty about programs and staffing for next year.

That amounts to angst on top of anxiety. Say you are an activist 5th-grade parent who has long hoped your child would get into an excellent middle school like Salk. Number one, you haven't heard yet -- for some unexplained reason, the middle school process has been delayed this year.

Number two, say you had dreamed of having your middle school graduate go on to say, the prestigious Bronx High School of Science. Looking down the chancellor's list of budget cuts, you might see the Bronx Science is facing a 5.25 percent cut -- amounting to some $825,00 -- and no cupcake sale can make up that kind of deficit. For many schools, such cuts could mean the end of concerts, plays, after school clubs, sports, and at places like Stuyvesant, a lighter academic courseload.

Thousands of parents already support New York City public schools, and thousands more would like to. They do not appreciate being political pawns.

Read all of Liz Willen's Middle School Muddle

Middle School Muddle: As the wait continues, the need for more quality middle schools grows

Posted by inthemiddle at 2:46 PM

From the minute we dropped our 5th graders off in a sun-dappled elementary school courtyard last September, the search – and the questions – officially began for parents. Would we be able to find a decent New York City public middle school for our 9- and 10-year-olds?

The tours got off to a slow and somewhat confusing start, but one thing became immediately clear as we began to rank our choices one to five: There are far more students who want to get into the most coveted middle schools than there are spots for them.

In recent weeks, a dire picture of the overcrowding lower Manhattan and other areas of the city face and the impact it will have on schools has emerged. The New York Times weighed in, and Manhattan Borough President Scott Stringer has announced a meeting next week to discuss the implications.

A report Stringer released last month found the city had approved enough new residential buildings to add up to 2,300 new students in K-8 – while increasing total school capacity by only 143 seats.

Overcrowding is a serious problem, and it's only getting worse as more families choose to stay in the city.

I wish I could tell parents not to worry or stress, and urge them to shun private institutions or moves to the suburbs. The problem is, plenty of us are already staying in the city and fighting for better public schools, just as innovative educators are working hard to make the schools we do have more appealing by attracting grants and specialty programs.

It’s not enough. Supply does not meet demand. The overcrowding in some areas is causing parents to be shut out of kindergarten in some of the most coveted neighborhood schools, as the Times story noted.

Fast-growing immigrant areas in the Bronx, Queens and Upper Manhattan have spent years struggling with overcrowded schools, classrooms and trailers as immigrant populations continue to surge.

Finding a good middle school – and then getting into it – is hard enough now: the best have a long list of children shut out for lack of space.

Without serious attention it may become nearly impossible in years to come.

Read all of Liz Willen's Middle School Muddle

Middle School Muddle: When one search ends, another begins

Posted by inthemiddle at 4:15 PM

Searching for schools is fact of life in New York City, one that requires patience, stamina, resilience. At times you need the skills of an investigative reporter, along with the endurance of a long-distance runner.

If you are considering private school, you need many of those qualities as well, along with at least $25,000 grand a year to spend on tuition.

In the city, it's not unusual for parents spend enormous amounts of time thinking about schools and researching options. The truly obsessed may begin their search preconception, or at least around the time they begin investigating that other great New York obsession: real estate.

I didn’t worry much about schools until a girlfriend turned to me in the playground one day more than 11 years ago to ask if I’d completed the nursery school applications yet.

I remember being shocked, because up to this point I’d been happily preoccupied with first steps, solid food and a full night’s sleep. Turns out I missed the deadlines.

I vowed to be on top of all the options from then on, and managed to find a tremendous public elementary school for my sons that gave out-of-neighborhood variances – a rarity these days at the New York City Department of Education.

Now I find myself waiting to hear about middle school acceptance for my youngest son, who is 10. We’ve spent much of this year taking tours, preparing for tests and interviews, weighing multiple factors and discussing moving on and maintaining elementary school friendships.

I grew up in the kind of suburb where everyone stayed together, from elementary school through high school, for better or for worse. No choice existed. Education barely entered the conversation, much less dominating it as it tends to in the city.

Throughout our second middle school search in three years, we’ve managed to block out the scary search around the bend -- high school admissions.

Suddenly, my mailbox is full of upcoming meetings, open houses and Princeton Review tutoring options for high school specialty exams for my 7th-grade son. We’ve missed several already.

A story in The New York Daily News this week contained some startling statistics that snapped me back to the reality check I first experienced in a sun-dappled playground 11 years and some months ago.

Some 7,772 kids did not get into any of their high school choices this year, including one fine student whose angry mother is moving the family to New Jersey, where getting in requires nothing more than showing up to register.

The mother did not sound at all happy about it, though. You are not supposed to drop out of the race before you reach the finish line.

Are there too many obstacles in the way of parents who embrace and support public school and really want to stay in the city?

And so the next search begins.

Read all of Liz Willen's Middle School Muddle

Middle School Muddle: Academics matter, but footwear really rules

Posted by inthemiddle at 11:25 AM

I’ve spent considerable time contemplating issues like class size, teacher quality and the importance of after school programs and art and music curriculums in middle school, first for my 7th grader and now for my soon-to-be-6th grader.

I probably should have spent more time checking out shoes.

Apparently shoes – what brand you wear and how many pairs you have — really matter in middle school, at least that’s what my 7th grader tells me. And his skateboarding little brother isn’t far behind.

It’s no longer okay to lace up any old pair of $20 sneakers and wear them till they are trashed.

My public school kids have somehow been tuned into websites where they can browse through thousands of cool and colorful high-end brands or design and customize their own Nikes. They've discovered skateboard shops stocked with DCs and Elements and other brands of sneakers that easily cost $85 or more.

My middle schooler has also brought home the idea that it's not enough to have ONE or TWO really cool pair of sneakers. You are to be pitied, my 7th grader warned me, if you wear the same pair of sneakers over again. Same goes with those pricey hooded sweatshirt jackets.

When I ask about the day -- hoping to catch a small tidbit about an interesting lesson, a book, an exciting moment in history -- I'm more likely to get a plea for new sneakers and a reminder of the horrific humiliation involved in wearing the same pair each day.

I don’t have any solutions or advice here (beyond putting your middle schoolers to work so they can buy their own shoes) but if you are just beginning to think about touring middle schools, you might want to shift your eyes downward a bit toward the footwear – and start saving up just in case.

Read all of Liz Willen's Middle School Muddle

Middle School Muddle: Some clarity, answers and survival tips from Jimmy Bueschen

Posted by inthemiddle at 1:37 PM

There is one way to get answers and explanations about the middle school choice process.

It requires taking a deep breath, agreeing not to try to game the system and ignoring the "I heard this" rumors.

It involves going straight to the source: Jimmy Bueschen, the school choice coordinator whose jurisdiction includes District 2.

For the last 10 years, Bueschen has patiently explained middle school choice to countless elementary school parents. Every year he hears parents cry: "This is too much for 10 year olds!"

He also tries to quell rumors from parents who "heard this" about a change in the process, a new rule or deadline. Most are false. He is quick to tell parents who want to know if putting their second choice first is a better strategy that the answer is no, never.

Bueschen was kind enough to go over all the answers to questions I posed in a recent post, although he reminded me that he’d addressed just about every one of my questions in his excellent and very careful presentation to my child’s elementary school, where he pointed out that 80 percent of kids get into their first or second choice.

Those are pretty comforting odds. So how did I get confused? Perhaps by listening to multiple voices and rumors? Also, many of the schools we visited during tours do things differently, so what holds true for one school doesn’t hold true for the next, so it is easy to get somewhat muddled.

For the record, here are some of Bueschen’s answers to frequently asked questions, including mine.

Q. How seriously do middle schools take the fourth grade state tests?
A. The tests are part of multiple criteria schools used, including lateness and absences. There were cutoff scores at one point. There are no longer cutoff scores.

Q. Do schools really look at report cards, even if there are just checks and no grades?
A. If they ask for them, yes. Lots of report cards don’t contain grades.

Q. Will middle schools really have time to evaluate hordes of first choice candidates?
A. Of course. That’s part of what they do.

Q. If they give a test, how much will it count?
A. There are multiple criteria. Of course, you would think it holds a bit more weight because their screening may be based on the theme of their school. It’s up to the school to decide. Schools have different themes they may want students to demonstrate an interest in, like writing, science or technology.

Q. Will be child be screened at both his first and second choice? We all heard this might happen.
A. They will be screened (which can mean an interview, a test, participation in a project) at their first choice. The second choice school may do screening before they accept students in the second round – which means after they have accepted those who listed them as first choice.

Q. If they don’t hear from their second choice, does that mean they got into their first choice?
A. It’s possible, but it's not over till it's over. A person can get interviewed by first, second and third and STILL get their first choice. Our goal is for everyone to have their first choice. You could hear from the second choice school and still get into your first choice.

Q. Should we have prepared portfolios or letters of recommendation about our children?
A. Only if asked by the school. They likely won’t have time to read them.

Q. When will we find out?
A. Early May.

Finally, Bueschen has a reminder for parents who complain that the process is too much: The alternative is to pack everyone off to zoned schools – something no one wants. The best way to reach Bueschen is via email: jbuesch@schools.nyc.gov. He gets hundreds of calls at 212-356-3788 and does his best to answer.

Read all of Liz Willen's Middle School Muddle

Middle School Muddle: As the wait begins, the mystery mounts

Posted by inthemiddle at 12:55 PM

When the public middle school search began this fall, I was not going to be one of those anxiety ridden parents, whispering rumors and comparing notes and test scores of kids who get in.

After all, we are talking about 10-year-olds here. There is plenty of time to get hysterical about high school admissions and getting into college in the years to come.

My kids attend schools in Manhattan’s District Two, I reasoned, where there are plenty of good choices that parents in other parts of the city only wished they had. My older son survived the process two years ago, got accepted into his first choice and is (mostly) thriving in his middle school, as are most of his friends and former elementary school classmates.

I still want to believe everything will work out fine. But now that tours are done and applications in, I see anxiety etched on the faces of 5th-grade parents. Kids are whispering about their tests and interviews and saying things like, "I’m sure I didn’t make it."

Some of us will have to explain to our kids why, if they didn’t get their first choice but their friends did, it they should not be unhappy or feel rejected.

We won’t be able to say exactly why, though, because we’re all a bit confused. The middle school process started later this year than it did in the past, and while many of us have posed questions to principals, staff at our elementary schools and parent coordinators on tours, we haven’t always received clear answers.

We’ve all been told many different things, some with a warning that all is subject to continuing changes in the middle school process from the Department of Education.

Parental chatter on tours and at tests makes for more confusion. For example, several parents told me they listed their child’s first choice school as SECOND on the middle school application, believing they’d have a better chance in the second round.

Some other unanswered questions:

• How seriously do middle schools really take the fourth grade tests? Can your child simply not get into certain schools if they didn’t score a four on both the ELA and the math? Is there really an absolute cut-off? It seems to vary from school to school. Should you not even apply to certain middle schools even if you really liked them because of lower test scores?
• Do schools really have time to look at report cards? If the report cards have just checks and no grades, how will these schools know anything about my child?
• Will middle school officials really have the time to evaluate hordes of first choice candidates, in addition to getting through an already packed day and taking care of the kids already in their charge?
• If they give a test, how much does it count?
• Will my child be interviewed and tested more than once? At first we were told they would be only be tested and/or interviewed at their first choice. Then we were told they’d go to both. Then we were told they’d only get a call from school two or three if the child did not get into school one.
• Will my 10-year-old be assigned a numerical rating, and get accepted or rejected on that basis?
• Should we prepare a portfolio? Letters of recommendation?
• If we don’t get our first choice, do we have much of a chance on appeal?

Understandably, selecting an entering class is tough on popular schools that are overwhelmed with first choice applicants.

Parents for the most part truly appreciate the unique offerings and the opportunity to choose the best school for our children. We know it’s time consuming for everyone involved.

A bit more clarity would make this easier for all.

Read all of Liz Willen's Middle School Muddle

Middle School Muddle: An outsized outrage -- will middle schools become the land of the giants?

Posted by inthemiddle at 12:49 PM

The city’s new social promotion policy scares me. I keep imagining corridors filled with giant sneakers and puny 6th graders bumping into their bearded, muscular classmates who are repeating 8th grade.

It brings me back to our first tour of a middle school two years ago, when my then 5th grader had a funny reaction to the size of kids lurking in hallways.

“Mom,’’ he whispered urgently. “I can’t possibly go to this school. These are Middle School Giants!’’

It happened that the 8th grade boys who spoke on that day’s tour were particularly huge. Their voices had lost the high-pitched, pre-adolescent cadence. It seemed pretty intimidating.

But just imagine what middle schools are soon going to look like by the time my 5th grader graduates and the new social promotion policy takes hold. (Assuming he never bombs a major class or standardized test and gets left back, that is.) I predict huge improvements in the basketball teams.

The policy approved 11-1 by Mayor Bloomberg’s rubber stamp education board ensures that untold numbers of 8th graders are going to repeat the grade. The panel’s 11-1 vote came on Monday night as angry parents and protesters shouted “Shame on You,’’ according to the New York Daily News.

In support of his new policy, Chancellor Joel Klein says it makes no sense to send students “wholly unprepared into a high school environment,’’ and he’s right.

But it also makes no sense to turn middle schools into the Land of the Giants.

What about focusing our energies on helping struggling kids long before they face a fourth middle school year?

Read all of Liz Willen's Middle School Muddle

Middle School Muddle: Look for adults who 'get' these middle schoolers

Posted by inthemiddle at 2:16 PM

The words “middle school’’ strike fear into the heart of otherwise rational parents. It causes some to pack-up and move to the suburbs, afraid that the New York City public school system will fall woefully short of their expectations.

Others may declare, "My child needs private school,’’ with all that implies – smaller classes, more individual attention, a wider range of arts, sports and after school activities, the perception – and in some cases the reality – of a more intensive academic program.

I don't judge or begrudge those choices. It's just that I've come to an entirely different conclusion about what matters most in a middle school, based on a mere year and a half experience as a public middle school parent.

The problem is this: You can’t escape this thing that happens when middle school kids become … middle schoolers, no matter where they end up going or how much it costs.

At some point, your middle schoolers are likely to no longer resemble the compliant, easy-going children you remember. Maybe they have grown five inches in six months. They have a crush for the first time and start acting weird. They have secrets. They rebel. They lie. They become impossible, petulant, annoying, withdrawn and prickly. They act out to impress their friends. They test you, try you and twist you if you let them.

That’s why it’s essential they end up in a building where there is someone they can talk to, someone they trust.

No wonder middle school parents get scared. My only advice to parents looking for middle schools anywhere is to watch how the grown-ups in the building relate to the kids.

During tours, does anyone mention the enormous physical and emotional changes that start taking place during adolescence? If they don’t, you might want to ask.

If you attend an event at the school (highly recommended) watch to see if the kids are interacting with any of the faculty. Or ask kids at a school how they feel about the staff. Is there someone in the building kids talk to: a coach, drama teacher or guidance counselor?

Maybe the principal likes to shoot baskets with the kids or occasionally go out to lunch with them? Does he or she complain about these kids? Does the staff think these half-grown kids are funny? (They are, truly, even though they make you want to cry as often as you want to laugh.)

My son’s middle school, the Clinton School for Artists and Writers, does not have small classes, athletic fields or other amenities typical of private and suburban schools. But everyone from the school aides to the parent coordinator and the principal has a sense of humor and perspective, the ability to roll their eyes at the awkward stages, behavior and sheer height differences that seem to shift daily.

At school events, I’ve noticed swarms of kids hanging around the 7th-grade language arts teacher and the social studies teacher, for example. They look really comfortable, laughing and chatting about everything from music and books to friendship.

These are teachers who give plenty of homework and expect a lot. But they also look like they are really enjoying these kids.

And I am so relieved that someone does.

Read all of Liz Willen's Middle School Muddle

Middle School Muddle: With choices listed and tours over, challenges remain

Posted by inthemiddle at 11:45 AM

Since October, we’ve visited more than half a dozen middle schools, compared notes and listed our top five choices in order. We care a lot about education and choice in our family, so we laid out a fairly ambitious schedule of tours, questions and considerations. But we fell down on the job.

I can’t help but think about all the parents in the city who simply did not have time for tours, questions and soul-searching. Or the single parents who had to go it alone.

Some may have simply opted for their zoned school, where admission is guaranteed. We never even visited our zoned school — Baruch — because the location wasn’t right and the size — 1,043 — seemed daunting.

We never got to Salk, a school high on the list of many of my son’s classmates, simply because the day starts at 8 a.m. and the commute would involve two subway switches. If we couldn’t get there on time for the tour, how would my son manage on a daily basis? (Okay, we slept through the alarm clock that day, truth be told).

We missed the truly beloved East Side Middle on York Avenue, reasoning again that the commute would be too far. We didn’t tour highly regarded Robert Wagner on East 76th for the same reason, along with its overwhelming size — 1,400 students.

Parents who applied for out-of-district or specialized middle schools (with a tryout, like the one my son did for the Professional Performing Arts School) or their own admissions criteria and exam (like the highly competitive NEST+M) had even more extra homework.

Those applying for private schools had additional tours, day long school visits, admissions exams, tutors and letters of recommendation. And with chances slim of snagging a spot in these vaunted institutions, they went through the public process as well.

If it seems a little overwhelming, it is. And this year, we’ve been told our children will likely be interviewed and take admissions tests at their top two choices instead of just their first.

My son came home last night with a list of interview questions he might be asked. He had to describe his strengths and weaknesses as a student and as a person. He is 10. I wasn't surprised when he told me had trouble falling asleep.

There is a danger these kids will be burned out when it comes to finding a high school and tired of touring. They may, however, be savvy pros by the time they tackle college admissions.

Let's just hope they have also developed a love of learning about something other than what to look for in a school.

Read all of Liz Willen's Middle School Muddle

Middle School Muddle: Anxiety starts early--perhaps too early?

Posted by inthemiddle at 2:01 PM

A 5th-grade boy raised his hand on our last middle school tour and posed a question that took everyone aback. It reminded grown-ups in the room what it must feel like to be 10 or 11 years old, contemplating your educational future.

“Is it easy to make friends at this middle school?’’ the boy wondered.

Kelly McGuire, the energetic principal of Greenwich Village Middle School had already distributed a glossy brochure, articulated his educational philosophy and answered predictable questions about class sizes and whether 6th graders can go out to lunch.

He’d spoken about literacy and math scores. He’d described a small, caring and nurturing community with a commitment to social justice and a “really rigorous approach to academics."

(Every school we’ve toured has a “really rigorous approach.")

The 8th-grade students had answered questions about where they want to go to high school and how much homework they have. They complained about what they least like about their school – all those stairs they must climb to get to it

(Every middle school we’ve toured has also been on the top floor of an old building with no elevator.)

No one really knew how to answer the little boy’s question about making friends, although it laid bare a top priority of 5th graders as they prepare to rank their top five middle choices by Feb. 6.

Hint: It’s not a “content-rich program,” an “integrated theme-based curriculum,’’ a “peer mediation/conflict resolution program," or “collaborative team teaching,’’ to mention a few of the phrases we’ve heard on tours.

For 5th graders, middle school means splitting up from classmates they’ve known for years and finding themselves in an unfamiliar environment.

How, they wonder, will they make new friends?

No principal, parent or student can answer that question for them. No tour guide has the answer.

I’m grateful we have a choice of middle schools, but I strongly wish that 6th graders could remain one more year in their elementary school – the old K-6 configuration that I grew up with and one that is being considered again, as are pre-K-8 schools, like the new one being proposed for Battery Park City. I love the idea.

I’m not sure what is gained by hurtling them into the adolescent world of cell phones, instant messaging, traveling alone and school dances where grinding (if you don’t know what it is, ask any middle schooler) rules. They will face those social pressures far sooner than many parents -- and I suspect educators -- would like.

My 5th-grade son looked weary but relieved after our last tour, which was probably number 7 or 8 -- we slept through one and lost count. Mostly, he wants to go to school with his best buddy or least some of the classmates he’s known since kindergarten. And he'd like to get back to enjoying the rest of elementary school.

That, he told me, was what he was thinking about when the little boy asked his heartfelt question about making friends.

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Middle School Muddle: Taking a look at after-school programs

Posted by inthemiddle at 8:23 AM

When choosing a middle school, what happens after hours is critical in a city where space is scarce and fields are threatened.

Parents mulling middle school options spend a great deal of time comparing math and science programs, class size and school philosophies. They also can’t help noticing the wide disparity of sports and after-school programs and activities

Extras like robotics and rock bands can be big factors for working parents. Who wouldn’t prefer having their kids in fun, structured activities in school instead of hanging out in city parks, unsupervised?

Kids care a lot about these offerings as well. My 5th-grade son is absolutely swayed by the promise of track, soccer and swim teams.

After school sports are even more critical at a time when the few athletic fields available to New York City kids are threatened by politics – as at Randall's Island — or by development, as at Pier 40, where a huge rally is planned this Sunday at noon to save the fields from development.

So far, no middle school we’ve toured can compete with the offerings at M.A.T. in Chinatown, detailed in a great piece last week in the Downtown Express. The promise of the long-awaited community center that will be available free for all students at IS 289 will also be welcome.

But only M.A.T. offers a climbing wall (a great metaphor for middle schoolers, who literally climb them anyway) along with a surfing club and a tremendous track and field program. John De Matteo, the school’s ambitious athletic director, is building a really impressive program where 65 percent of all students participate in a sport.

To his credit, De Matteo has already met with the principal of Tompkins Square Middle School to explain how M.A.T. can support 16 sports and 38 teams. He plans to meet with other middle school principals to talk about how they can model their programs after M.A.T.’s as well.

De Matteo is happy to share his insights because he is so convinced that it makes a huge difference in the lives of middle schoolers.

“I believe that being on a structured sports team which teaches children how to work with their teammates, build sportsmanship, build community and character and motivate to improve grades will be one of the most important opportunities for our children to have," he says.

Any advice M.A.T. can offer middle school principals will be a positive step for all New York City public schools. Space, money and scheduling issues all interfere with the creation of after school programs. Just last week, hundreds of kids and parents crowded into PS 3 in the West Village, pointing out the critical need for more schools in Chelsea and the Village. Kids wondered why luxury condos are cropping up everywhere when schools are not.

There are not enough good public schools in the city. We also need fields, after school programs and sports. Parents are going to have to make a lot of noise to make sure we get them.

In the meantime, let's offer support and encouragement to the educators and visionaries who are creating, pushing and sharing programs that mean so much to our kids.

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Middle School Muddle: Middle schools and math

Posted by inthemiddle at 11:45 AM

Prospective and current middle school parents might want to question math curriculums more aggressively. What topics are covered and what kind of background and training does your child’s math teacher have?

Chances are the answer to both questions could be not enough.

A new study, “Mathematics Teaching in the 21st Century,’’ by Michigan State University researcher and Professor William H. Schmidt, reminded me why I should be paying more attention to math issues during middle school tours.

All too often, middle schools offer an unfocused curriculum taught by unprepared educators who can't help middle school kids make the transition from arithmetic to real mathematics, Schmidt's study found.

Teachers in five other countries are more prepared to teach math than middle school teachers in the United States, the study says.

Schmidt believes the existence of a coherent and challenging math curriculum should be a deciding factor for judging the quality of a middle school. Kids who don’t get the math they need will have trouble with math in high school and won’t get very far, he warns.

Any parent touring middle schools in New York City can quickly discern wide variation in the way math is taught. Some schools offer more and push students to learn high-level math, like the well regarded NEST+M, which offers a challenging program of Singapore math. Some middle schools provide Regents-level math and others don't.

School of the Future offers a “curriculum map’’ for 7th grade, promising “a linguistic/real life approach to mathematics.’’ One school I toured handed out a sheet noting that math is part of the 6th-grade curriculum; another simply said it offers “high-quality instruction,’’ without further explanation.

It's easy to get confused and skip the math questions if you don't know what to ask.

That's one reason Schmidt has long pushed for specific content standards laying out what every child is expected to learn and know by every grade in mathematics. If such standards existed nationally, parents would know what to expect. The standards would inform teacher training in math, he says.

“It’s incumbent on education schools and on our society to deem math education important enough to have such standards,’’ Schmidt told me during an interview about his study last week.

“It’s logical,’’ he explains. “With clear standards, you would have the whole system organized instead of arbitrary and hit and miss.’’

If you follow Schmidt’s logic, choosing a middle school with a particularly strong art or music program should not mean sacrificing math education. Each and every middle school would offer similar math curriculums with properly trained teachers.

Parents who want to know more about math requirements can consult the New York State math standards, which describe should be taught in each grade. That they are somewhat confusing to follow comes as no surprise to Schmidt.

“The problem is the standards are not very accessible to parents,’’ Schmidt says. “And they can be so full of jargon it’s difficult for parents to agitate for them.’ ’

School officials may tell you it’s really hard to find enough highly trained and math teachers, says Schmidt. "But your child shouldn't have to suffer as a result.''

Parents, says Schmidt, should ask questions about math and demand answers.

It's one small way to push for change.

Read all of Liz Willen's Middle School Muddle

Middle School Muddle: Disorganized Kids: A boy crisis or a middle school thing?

Posted by inthemiddle at 5:47 PM

Do we need Backpack Solutions 101?

Ask any middle school parent the biggest adjustment their child faces when they leave elementary school, and they are likely to talk about organizational skills.

Or, lack of them.

Changing classes, remembering which book to bring home, writing down all the homework in a planner, locating that planner – all of these tasks can overwhelm 6th graders used to staying in one elementary school classroom and being a bit more coddled.

Apparently, this phenomenon has become so common that pricey tutors and personal organizers have organized a side business -- backpack help for $100 an hour or more.

Seems there is barely a skill related to learning or growing up that can’t be outsourced these days.

According to a recent New York Times article, parents are shelling out whatever it takes to help their children succeed in school. Most often, its boys who seem to have more trouble organizing and multi-tasking. As the mother of two offenders, I mined the article eagerly for tips. One of my colleagues gave a copy to his chronically disorganized son. He promptly lost it.

For a brief, irrational moment, I considered contacting tracking down the backpack organizers for an appointment. I’m sure their lines were flooded.

Then I wondered if all middle schools should offer a mini-course on backpack and perhaps even locker organization at the start of 6th grade.

My 7th grade son could have used one. He lugged a crammed backpack that may have weighed more than he does throughout his first year at Clinton School for Artists and Writers, which, like many Manhattan middle schools, requires a breathtaking climb because it occupies top floors of an elementary school.

“You will break your back,’’ I insisted, watching him tote textbooks and notebooks for every class, even when there was no homework. Loose change, torn papers, dog-eared permission slips and old exams mingled with soccer gear. The thing smelled.

“I don’t want to forget anything,’’ he replied.

My soon-to-be 6th grade son has the opposite problem. He rifles through his backpack searching for a book, his folder, a notebook he needed – only to discover he left it at soccer practice, in music class, at school or at a friend’s house.

I am taking comfort in the belief that even without tutors and courses, some middle schoolers eventually do learn their own lessons.

On a recent night, my 7th grader came home carrying only thing – John Steinbeck’s The Red Pony with a permission slip tucked neatly inside. I immediately assumed he lost his backpack.

“I didn’t have any other homework,’’ he explained. “So I left my backpack in my locker.’’

I didn’t ask if it was organized.

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Middle School Muddle: The Lab mystique

Posted by inthemiddle at 7:19 AM

I’ve toured New York City Lab School for Collaborative Studies in Chelsea twice in three years for my very different sons, and each time I’ve had a similar reaction to the hothouse of high achievers. I’m fascinated and slightly overwhelmed. I thoroughly wish there could be more middle schools like it.

Lab is diverse, eclectic and brimming with excellent teachers and students who enjoy working in groups and swapping ideas. During my visits, I heard enlightened exchanges between teachers and students. I gazed at walls covered with elaborate and worthwhile collaborative projects the school is well known for. I was impressed by the many opportunities for students who love to learn.

Each time, though, I found myself recoiling at tours jammed with high-anxiety elementary school parents already obsessed with high school and college admissions. A battery of obsessive queries about tutoring, test scores and Who-Gets-In dominated conversation, taking away from a truly interesting academic program I wanted to hear more about.

No wonder both my kids rolled their eyes. I had to remind myself the school is for kids, not parents in a city where the supply for high-quality public education does not meet the demand.

My older son declared that “cruel stories about hours and hours of homework’’ turned him off from listing Lab as his first choice two years ago, even though I hoped he’d want to go there. He was probably right to trust his own instincts. He’s been delighted with his first choice, the Clinton School for Artists and Writers -- smaller, less selective and strong in two of his favorite subjects – writing and art.

My 5th grader found himself put off by crowded hallways (mostly with touring parents) along with large class sizes (between 32 and 34 students). He declared the school of 583 to be “too big,’’ in part because Lab also houses a high school (in my mind, a distinct advantage) and he couldn't always tell what he was seeing on the tour.

Both whirlwind visits provided only a small piece of the Lab story, so I consulted my well respected former colleague on the education beat, Joe Williams, author of Cheating Our Kids: How Politics and Greed Ruin Education (Palgrave MacMillan, 2005). He's the father of a Lab 7th grader and we'd swapped middle school impressions last time around.

“The $18 billion question is why there aren’t more schools like this,’’ said Joe, a former reporter for the New York Daily News and now the executive director of Democrats for Education Reform.

Joe pays equal attention to larger education obstacles in the U.S. along with the vexing smaller kind city parents face, like keeping your kids from losing multiple Metrocards. Lab, he explains, is built on high expectations and creation of an ideal culture for a school. It has a distinct philosophy, articulated on its website and evident in all instruction.

“It’s the kind of place where it’s considered okay to be intellectual,’’ Joe says. “That alone is hard to pull off.’’

It also adds pressure that in Joe’s mind “can be both good and bad. At some level it pushes my son to do as much as he can. The downside is he’s stressed out. The homework is intense. There are a lot of kids who are at that high level without having to try that hard.’’

On balance, Joe said his 7th grader “is very happy at Lab.’’ He hopes he’ll consider staying through high school, and that his 4th grader will choose it for middle school as well.

For a New York City parent, that’s the ultimate endorsement.

Read all of Liz Willen's Middle School Muddle

Middle School Muddle: Why middle school tours are not exactly love at first sight

Posted by inthemiddle at 11:40 AM

Anyone who expects to come away from a New York City public middle school tour with a “THIS IS THE PLACE FOR MY KID” feeling should adjust expectations. I’m told this does happen to some parents – and to some kids – who feel instantly comfortable after brief visits.

It just has not been our experience so far. Instead, we climb a ton of stairs, strain to hear our tour guide, lose our tour guide and get separated. I scan walls furiously, gauging artwork, writing and projects at a glance. We enter classrooms ever-so-briefly; never long enough to understand the purpose of a lesson.

After every middle school tour, I get a headache and my 5th-grade son complains that the school – no matter how small – is way too big.

“I didn’t like it,’ he says, as I root around in my pocketbook for a Tylenol. “There are too many people.’’

I try to explain that the “people’’ he objects to are hundreds of parents and kids, who show up for the tour armed with questions – usually about getting in. The reason for that is simple – there aren’t enough good public middle schools in New York City, and the best get way more applicants than they can take.

So naturally, tours segue into a barrage of test score and high school queries. Then come the detailed, lengthy scenario questions unique to a child’s individual issues. Mercifully, most principals recognize they probably shouldn’t be addressed in a packed auditorium or hallway and get the tours moving.

The kids ask about sports and clubs. And always, they want to know if they can go out to lunch.
My son looked so unhappy after his last tour that I wondered what he really learns from all these visits. He insisted he really likes seeing the buildings and hearing from “the kid tour guides.

I’m not blaming educators and parent coordinators for the crowds and chaos. Tours are an added pressure at a time when schools are being judged and evaluated by test scores and student improvement. Their first responsibility has to be to educate the kids already there.

My advice, based on about a dozen tours over two years? Don’t judge a school by the tour alone. Find a way to get back into the building for a different event. Talk to kids, parents and any of the educators who will give you the time in less pressured circumstances.

Call the schools you may be interested in and find out if there is a talent show, performance, PTA event or potluck supper where you might meet staff, parents and kids. Some districts are holding middle school fairs this winter where you can also meet kids and staffers in less pressured circumstances.

That’s what we did last week. We attended a talent show at a school with a disappointing tour, but one we know is terrific nonetheless. My son met teachers and the principals, saw the kids in action and had a great time. He came home smiling and optimistic for the first time in weeks. This extra step may feel like a headache but it will save you a much bigger one later on.

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Middle School Muddle: Should grades really matter in middle school?

Posted by inthemiddle at 11:21 AM

“Did you get anything back?’’

I posed this question to my 7th-grade son the other day. I hated the nagging tone of my voice. I’m sure he did too. After all, I’m constantly asking how he did on the math test, the science project, the Spanish quiz.

Wouldn’t it be better if I asked, “Did you learn anything interesting today?’’

Why do I care so much? Because 7th grade counts for high school admission, and the grades you get do have an impact. After that, grades affect what college you get into.

It’s an endless cycle of evaluation. And last month, some staff members at Institute for Collaborative Education, a well respected middle and high school in Manhattan, decided to offer a way out.

After a staff meeting where teachers spent “about two straight hours contemplating and debating about grades,’’ 6th grade parents received a letter offering a chance to “opt-out’’ of receiving letter grades — while still receiving detailed narratives at the end of each cycle, along with time to conference with the teachers.

“To us, the goal of education is to foster a sense of curiosity in the students, to encourage them to explore the world around and try to find ways to make it better,’’ the memo said. “Too many times, education boils down to competition for the best letter grade. And this should not be what education is all about.’’

An interesting take at a time when schools in the city are being awarded controversial letter grades, a concept I totally disagree with.

It's different, though, when it comes to your own kid. I broached the idea of no grades with my 7th grader, who does not go to ICE but wished he did the minute I told him about the “opt-out” plan.

Possibly, he just liked the idea of not hearing my voice at the end of the day: “Did you get anything back? What did you get?’’

I can’t say I blame him, although I’m still conflicted here. As I search for a middle school for my 5th grade son, I love the idea of telling him that grades – and test scores – really don’t matter, as long as he is trying his hardest and doing his best.

Except it wouldn’t really be true, would it?

Read all of Liz Willen's Middle School Muddle